Cooking with Lucas

Lucas asked that I make Sausage Kale Soup this weekend.  I told him that I would make it, but he would have to help since I had just made a pot of it last weekend. I also want to teach him about the time and effort that goes into cooking. It’s not a difficult soup, but there are a fair amount of steps involved. It’s not just a toss-everything-in-the-pot-at-once type soup. Last night, as I left for Safeway, I asked Lucas if he had any final requests from the store. I expected ice cream.  His reply was, “Yeah, a whole chicken.” The kid loves to eat.

This afternoon we were at the counter ripping up the kale. He told me that this soup would be the best I’ve ever made. I agreed and told him it has to be the best because he was helping me. We went on to talk about how much love goes into a good home cooked meal. After a few moments of silence and kale sizing, he turned the conversation to something he seemed to feel very strongly about. 

Lucas:  Do you know what a Commando App is?
Me: Nope.
Lucas: Really? I do.
Me: Then why did you ask me?
Lucas: Oh, I just wanted to quiz you. I’ll tell you what it is.  A Commando App is an App somewhere in your room. And you hear a voice telling you not to wear underpants. I know because I’ve heard it before. I didn’t listen because I had to wear pants because I was going to school. You can’t wear pants to school without underpants. OH MOM! Get it? UNDERpants?!

Even though he was an enthusiastic assistant chef; he was a bit too confident and didn’t want to concern himself with my kitchen warnings. I kept telling him not to overreach for things and to move his stool with him around the kitchen. When I asked him to grab the spatula for me, he hoisted himself onto the counter and reached across the unlit portion of the stove, hurting himself in the process. “FUHFUHFUHFUHFUCK”
Me: What did you say?
Lucas: Oh! Sorry.
Max (yelled from the other room): DID YOU JUST SAY THE F-WORD? My God.
Lucas: Mom, I am so sorry. Sometimes when I hurt my tummy, I say ‘fffffff’ and if it still is being hurt I’ll say ‘uuuuhhhhh’. I don’t know what happened the ‘ccckkk’ came out of nowhere.

When I told him to leave the can of hot bacon grease in the sink because it would burn him, he thought he should grab it right away to see if it was warm. Of course he burned himself and dropped it quickly.  Seconds later, I suggested that he keep his face away from the open food processor bowl that was full of freshly chopped onions.  Then I turned around and saw him holding his face with eyes shut tight. Understandably, this is where I lost my assistant. He did help tremendously up till that point and the soup might be the best ever.